So, okay. You know how I'm a self-proclaimed writer?
*You nod here.*
Good. Well, I hate outlining. I think outlines are the devil. Because they're hard. And because I don't really think in bullet points, also.
The thing is, though, one of the things that my failed attempt at NaNoWriMo taught me is that I really am a writer in need of a plan. If I don't have a plan, my writing sort of meanders slowly off in a random direction, until finally the path I'm following disappears and I'm lost in a forest of words with no idea which way is North. And by North I mean Towards-The-End. So an outline would be a valuable tool for me to have.
And perhaps my issue with an outline is that I never have enough things thought out for me to be able to actually make an outline. And so I get pieces of an outline made, and realize that they don't all connect together, and then I get frustrated and just give up.
I really do feel like I would benefit from a more advanced creative writing course. I've been through the community college creative writing, and it taught me almost nothing except that I can bullshit decent poetry. Yaaay education.
Anyway. All of this stems from this six-year-old story idea that I'm trying to over-haul and make viable. And realizing how much I've changed, and the story with me, over the last six years is making this task a freaking nightmare. The story is actually probably entirely unrecognizable at this point. The tone is undergoing a pretty significant change, along with the writing style. Almost all of the principal characters have altered at least a little bit, and most of them a lot more than just a little bit.
And still, after all this time, when I think about sitting down and plotting out the story arc, I just can't do it. No matter how much I think I've finally got worked out, there is something preventing me from forming a solid story line to follow.
I hope I can look back at this moment in five years as a turning point. Hopefully this moment provides me with some realization about what keeps getting in my way, and I can suddenly write what I've been trying to write for six freaking years.
Yeah, I let you know when my epiphany happens. Stay tuned.
Also, I know that I'm not fulfilling the gay quota people might be looking for when they read my blog. Gosh, I'm probably not even filling the funny quota that people are looking for when they get online to read stuff. Sorry about that, internet people, I'll try and come up with something more entertaining than my stupid whiny rambles for next time. For now, I give you this poorly drawn, useless ball of computer generated string to play with. Enjoy!